Showing posts with label blogdumb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogdumb. Show all posts

Friday, May 1, 2009

Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis No. 2 (May 1, 2009)

International crap: N. Korea commies re-opening nuclear weapons-grade facility. Swine flu panic goes pandemic. US pork flu panic continues to infect politicians requiring us to pay for treatment until cure for congressional pigism is finally discovered. Egypt subjects 330k hogs to capital execution. Britain withdraws all troops from Iraq. Ignored rest of world crap to save blog space making crime fighter Dr. JOCOSOB happier. Condensing to 1082 word essay impairs snarkiness score; while plummeting readability score to 10th grade level. Something has to go next week.

Domestic Crap: Sat. IMF meeting in DC; hundreds of patriots beaten with batons and pepper spray. Sun. National domestic blog mod take-nap day. Mon. Lots of crap day: a) Congressional swine flu caused by Pelosi Virus HR1 goes panicky; while viral HR2 Reid confirms suspicions of Barry’s delusional megalomania stating “I have a gift, Harry” and b) Barry rhetoric regarding regulating credit card industry is political fluff making me want to ROFLMAO because way too many DC politicians greased regularly by financial PACS; and c) Scare Force One NYC photo op disaster; and d) Gov. Motors proposes to swindle taxpayers 225 sh. for each $1k for our secured loan of 15.4 billion in conspiracy with Fire Treasury Tim. Bad deal usurping Congress will merely allow GM to inflate their balance sheet until default and bankruptcy leave us with $0 billion.

Tues. PA Sen. RINO, 79 yr. Benedict Arnold Specter finally flips ensuring GOP win in 2010. Wed. Revised GPD 6.1% drop confirms Happy Depression Day. To which government, stock mkt. and media ignore; same day of the 100 day mark of Abomination. Congress approves 3.4 trillion historic fed. budget with anticipated record 1.2 trillion deficit. Fed. Res. leaves int. rates at 0% flooding $ hoping to make businesses and consumers spend $ instead of hoarding cash messing up Abomination Plan. Barry’s 100-day speech highlights was a promise of ending no-bid contracts and stating that immigration reform battle will be sometime this year; while ignoring past "corrosion of American character" on torture.

Thur. Joe “the gaffer” Biden recommends to avoid flying/subways and enclosed structures. Fri. S.Ct liberal Souter retires in June which will make Barry’s 1st and hopefully only pick interesting over the summer.

Stock market crap: 50 cent k plans have improved since March 6 to 100 cent k plans. Expect correction soon back to 50 cent k level again as realization we are in a depression starts hitting the reality fan. Appears further delays in May 4 bank stress stuff. Too big to fail banks cannot continue hiding worthless assets on their balance sheets forever. Ken Lewis is BAC history. Chrysler goes Ch. 11.

State Crap: Sat. KS health officials issue holy crap alert confirming two cases of swine flu. Naturally, all were already aware of the seemingly incurable Congressional Swine Flu hitting KS porkers for years. (Pelosi Virus HR1). Sun. Posts related to a debate on a watered down, pro-friendly unlawful, pro-business immigration bill makes news. KS SB 428 will ensure KS becomes an even bigger refuge state for unlawful immigrants explaining why KS would be a lot better without Sen. John Vratil. Mon. No clue. I forgot.

Tues. DINO GOV Parkinson’s first speech stating “refreshing time of astonishing renewal” is as bad as a press release by “I want to be KS GOV” Dem Nut Sen. Steineger’s incredible statement ending with “I believe in winning the BBQ!” Both of which indicate Tues. was full moon crashing to earth day, again.

Wed. Horrible HHS appointment of Kate (I refuse to give my real Catholic middle name) Sebelius is finally gone solving many of KS’s problems. Making me ahs happy as the Wizard of Oz. So, Be Happy. Don’t Worry (until Kate does anything official as HHS Sec.). KS Majority Lead O’Neal refuses to schedule joint session with new GOV Parkinson until Thurs. Thurs. New KS GOV Speech. Kate gone, so KS legislature expected to soon override “I love abortion” and “I hate energy” vetoes. Fri. Possible state employee pay cuts of 5% instead of 1 day/mo furlough.

Local Crap: I overcame my evil lawn mower Diablo. Son in horrible TX completed his first 42 mile bike rally; while I finished a sloth jog marathon to restroom in record time. Disguised DHS brown shirt came by Mon. pretending to be a US Census worker. (BS hereafter). BS wanted to confirm the number of my house; despite giant house numbers and things called street signs. A clear DHS rouse demonstrates why POTUS should not be in charge of Census. So, fair warning alert-suspected BS will be around alleging to work for the Census to determine if you are a domestic terrorist.

Made huge 9 cent gain selling DOW making me want to squeal like a capitalist pig. Helped Barry create .00017 jobs by spending $12 on Pelosi HR1 swine flu bbq special. Campaign focused on earmarks solution for 2010. Considered selling political soul to get every Kansan a gazillion bacon dollars.

JOCO Tax Appraiser fascists sent notice stating my evidence in an informal non-evidentiary teleconference hearing was not sufficient-new JOCO scheme. Onward to BOTA friends for our annual funfest where I ask for evidence I was never asked for, or given the opportunity to submit. JOCO Sun Editor Chris Rogers is refusing to communicate with me.

Finally, delaying a wrap up on PorkBall series/awarding Golden PorkBall award. Basically, different stuff due to Happy Depression starting this week. Will probably be Republic troll mod again at open forum weekend @ http://kansasjackass.blogspot.com just to annoy dem nut demiwants.

New words to add to your political lexicon: If a person that twitters is a twitwit; then by extension, a person that blogs would have to be called a blogwit. Also consider adding the word blogdumb. That is the final word.

On to the top links of the week.Top Links of the Week worth analyzing: The 100 day-100 mistakes of Barry’s Abomination administration by priority is available at: http://www.nypost.com/php/pfriendly/print.php?url=http://www.nypost.com/seven/04252009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/100_days__100_mistakes_166.

Can anyone think of 100 good things by priority Barry has done? Hopefully, all domestic terrorists mailed their certificate to Janet “I deserve to be fired” DHS Sec. from last week’s top link @ http://www.reason.com/terroristquiz/.

Top invasion of privacy link for demiwant dl photos is @ http://www.license.shorturl.com.

Best blog ever link remains New Style Kansas Politics @ http://independentkspolitics.blogspot.com. 2nd place, JOCOSOB.

Copyright Legal Mumbo Jumbo: None. Go ahead and steal it. Merely pretend you are a Crook of Congress, Sec. of HHS, Fire Treasury Tim or DHS Sec. “you are all domestic terrorists including sneaky Canadians” Janet.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back by Popular Demand-Round 2 : Odds on What Cabinet Post Gets Canned First

Now that the Cabinet Post draft is over, vetting fun is no longer on C-Span Comedy Channel and all Cabinet Posts have all been finally appointed; in spite of the difficulty of trying to find an honest democrat that is not a cheater, it's fun time for Round Two of:

What are the odds of which cabinet post gets fired first (or leaves for any fabricated phoney-baloney reason)?

So back by popular demand, I'll be editing the odds when I feel like it. Because frankly due to a total denial of the media of the start of the Happy Depression yesterday but not ignored by the blogwits-the new way to get unbiased news quickly. I am feeling pretty blogged out at the moment-a blogdumb. So stand by for edits and new odds being posted. Probably after I finish burning my dinner, a Pelosi Swine Flu Panic Special. (HR1).

But remember, everyone avoid transporting yourself as suggested by Joe "the gaffer" Biden today. Avoid any enclosure including every method of transportation: bicycle, rail, skateboard, subway, pogo stick, car, air, roller skates, submarine, Harley hogs, or any other other method of dangerous and highly hazardous means of high probability infectious transportation. Just call in tomorrow and tell your boss you are just doing what was suggested by Joe today and therefore, you are merely being a good American patriot. Soo-eee, everyone merely panic and stay home tomorrow. Just not my home, you infected deadly swiners.

For special people from Ark., no driving pet hogs to work. Leave Porky at home. For TX, no driving longhorn steers. And please TX, do secede. You are like a whole other country-Red China. In regard to open borders, we must keep Mexican border open so work in CA, NM, TX and AZ can actually get some work done. We cannot afford to let Home Depot collapse. Canadians, do just stay home. We all know you are domestic terrorists. Just like Janet, I hate veterans" stated last week.

Probably same really horrible prize as before. Correctly guess the correct first firing on the right date by posted comment and you get to replace that Cabinet Secretary. So, hurry up and amend your past 3 years of cheating on your tax return before we vet you next. New favorite pop culture slogan: "Don't vet me, bro." I would give a cash prize to the winner instead of punishing them with a Cabinet Post, but it would be my luck that would be illegal in KS.

In order of succession to the Presidency:

Vice President of the United States Joe "the gaffer"Biden: .

700 gaffes to 1. We still love Joe despite his craziness.

Department of State, Secretary Hillary "Traveling PantSuit" Clinton, http://www.state.gov/ . Even money to 1 ugly cackling pantsuit.

We all know this sister of the traveling pant suit is highly ranked and one of the consistent odds- on favorites of being the first one to take her traveling pant suit anywhere else.

Department of the Treasury Secretary, "Fire Treasury Tim" Geithner, http://www.treasury.gov/. Another high probability favorite.

2 zillion worthless shares of economically unviable Gov. Motors to 15.8 billion secured government bailout bucks.

Department of Defense, Secretary Robert M. Gates, http://www.defenselink.mil/

Zero F-22's to 4000 F-35 Ford flying fighter trucks, with chrome pig guards to ward off dangerous flying swine for a measy extra 100 million each.

Department of Justice Attorney General Eric "you are all cowards" H. Holder, Jr, .http://www.usdoj.gov/

I am looking to see his odds improving right after he refuses to do anything about Bush torturers because Barry merely wants our national character to look forward, ignoring both the the past and present realities.

20 water boards to 6 racist cracker cowards.

Department of the Interior, Secretary Kenneth L. Salazar, http://www.doi.gov/.

60 National Parks to 1. Pretty hard gig to get fired from managing national parks as long as you ignore CA.

Department of Agriculture, Secretary Thomas J. Vilsack, http://www.usda.gov/.

Currently, has anyone noticed anything done by Vilsack. Right now, swine flu is probably going to be his fault. So, until the panic passes. 3 swiners to 4 porkers

Department of Commerce, Secretary Gary F. Locke, http://www.commerce.gov/.

4 to 1. Always a good person to blame for unlocky rotten economy and new Happy Depression.

Department of Labor Secretary, Hilda L. Solis, http://www.dol.gov/

150,000 imaginary jobs created to 500 million real job losses/month based on Crazy Nancy Pelosi January job estimates. Crazy Nancy can't understand why her estimates are not jibbing with the reported 630,000 real job losses reported by DOL folks.

Department of Health and Human Services, Secretary Kathleen "I can't go to communion so I am not telling you my Catholic middle name" Sebelius, http://www.hhs.gov/

My personal favorite. Probably take a while for Kate to remember her errors.

6 Wizards of OZ ex-communications to 3 Toto dog fetuses and 4 red ruby slippers abortions by Killer the Tiller.

Department of Housing and Urban Development, Secretary Shaun L.S. Donovan, http://www.hud.gov/

Department of Transportation Secretary, Raymond L. LaHood, http://www.dot.gov/

330,000 Slightly Used Egyptian hogs to 1 Joe Biden infected swine flu 67 Corvette.

Department of Energy, Secretary Steven Chu, http://www.energy.gov/

No way. Still about 4 hundred million googols to one. No one still have figured out what the heck is he is talking about. Most feared Cabinet post.

Department of Education, Secretary Arne Duncan, http://www.ed.gov/.

600,000 private school vouchers equal to about the same odds as Congress fully funding NCLB so all those whiny school teachers will be forced to focus on educating children.

Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary, Eric K. Shinseki, http://www.va.gov/

50,000,000 angry domestic Vet terrorists to one soon to be fired Janet.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Janet "please fire me" Napolitano, http://www.dhs.gov/

Even money. 50 million ticked off vets and all vet organization on DHS terrorist list to the entire population of Canada; not to mention even more dangerous domestic Canadian terrorists.

The following positions have the status of Cabinet-rank:

Council of Economic Advisers -as a group. 3 to 1. Roughly 3.7 trillion budget to 1.2 trillion deficit.

Chair Christina Romer, http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/eop/cea/
Environmental Protection Agency

Administrator Lisa P. Jackson
http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/cabinet/

Office of Management & Budget Director, Peter R. Orszag
http://www.whitehouse.gov/omb

2 to 1. Anyone that states Barry's numbers are fuzzy and will not work risks quite a bit. Hopefully, taxpayers will prevent this from happening to an honest patriot.

United States Trade Representative Ambassador Ronald Kirk
http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/cabinet/#TB_inline?height=220&width=370&inlineId=tb_external

United States Ambassador to the United Nations, Ambassador Susan Rice

6 European wussy countries that will not support NATO troops in Afghanistan to 1.

White House Chief of Staff, Rahm I. Emanuel

6 lying scumdog weasel corrupt lawyers from IL to 1 Rod Blogonovich.