Showing posts with label Happy Depression Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy Depression Day. Show all posts

Friday, May 1, 2009

Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis No. 1 (4/25/2009)

This was published originally on April 25, 2009 @ http://jocosob.blogspot.com/. Figured I might as well also post here on my own blog.

Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis No. 1 (4/25/2009)

Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis Intro: Thanks for a public forum to give your blog followers a dem nuts weekly analysis. As well as the opportunity to give feedback on what fiscally conservative people understand is important. The goal is political satire in a snarky format until I switch to serious political commentary. Basically, I am keeping at eye on fiscally irresponsible socialists trying to annoy as many demiwants as humanly possible.

Hopefully, fiscally conservative bloggers can anticipate what the dem nuts are scheming next; thereby anticipating, benefiting and taking advantage of their flawed progressive socialist-commie demiwantism.--dem-i-want-ism. (I want this and I demand fiscally conservative middle class people work and pay for it via some kind of an irrational doomed abominable economic redistribution scheme).

International crap: Barry returned from his listening pacifist agenda with evil despots and dictators trying to make the world a little safer. Award one point and hope Barry’s risky international plan works. Sea captain rescue tell us defending ships on the open seas with fire hoses seems a tad bit moronic. A cruise-missile launch for targeted Somali pirates before they launch might be an appropriate progressive step to clearly establish why sea piracy is historically not a wise economic strategy. For domestic pirates which are more numerous (demiwants), the best weapon to deploy is the 2010 election cycle missile. Hopefully, there will be no pirates at our local lakes, yet. But seriously, consider deploying your own strategic anti-pirate local defense systems ASAP. IMF and dim global declines of 3-4 trillion suggest commie dems should all invest in China since it actually will continue having a declining positive GDP.

Domestic Crap: Barry’s still trying to get various tax schemes to pay for the second part of his Spend and Tax agenda-the Tax portion. Irresponsible and wasted social spending of historic amounts is basically over. But these demiwants will keep trying to waste even more. Now that blowing our tax dollars part is over until next year, Barry has to shovel thinly veiled tax schemes like Crap and Trap and/or a Carbon Tax. Basically, a regressive indirect utility tax on the air we breathe continues to dominate dem nut tax schemes.

Barry’s tax schemes are a huge fiscal priority. If Barry cannot con us into some huge tax scheme, other flawed and irrational dem nut domestic plans like forced health insurance on everyone cannot move forward. This would make the rich drug, medical and insurance industry and their PACS and lobbyists unhappy. So, anticipate all kinds of clever federal tax schemes for the rest of his administration. As well as anticipate every government trying to do the very same thing in creating their own tax schemes.

Meanwhile DHS Secretary “I need to be fired” Janet continues to classify our war veterans as high-risk domestic terrorists; while also insulting all Canadians within a one week time frame. To find out if you, your spouse, lover, neighbor, boss, co-workers, parents, grandparents and even your children or pets are domestic terrorists, find out for certain by having them take the simple quiz at http://www.reason.com/terroristquiz/. If they are, be a patriot and report them to DHS pronto until Janet is fired as Secretary of DHS.

In regard to “looking forward” instead of prosecuting Bush war criminals is absurd logic that by not looking to the pas,t merely ensures Barry will repeat Bush-like domestic surveillance and be unable to resolve GITMO.

The stock market and the 50 cent k plans are up and down again raising economic anxiety as people are realizing the 19 biggest banking institutions inflated numbers are fluff packed with billions of increasing non-performing assets. Nationalization of banking and the auto industry continues. Barry can’t make his mind on whether economically unviable Government Motors should take bankruptcy. Or instead, do something really stupid-take our 13.4 billion tax secured bailout loan and convert that into unsecured equity stock. Brilliant provided you are really a stupid moron that works for Treasury Tim. If I told you my corporation was going bankrupt real soon, would you say “bummer, let me help you out by buying a bunch of your stock.” This is moronic. And that’s what dem nuts are suggesting doing with our taxpayer money.

Wednesday, April 29 will be Happy Depression Day as real GDP numbers will be negative for the 3rd time meeting the standard economic definition of a depression. Celebrate depression by taking massive anxiety medications/most favored substance needed for coping. To make the depression even worse, May 4 the Treasury will use puffery to gloss over reality regarding their financial stress test to delay a huge economic meltdown.

State Crap: Kansas Governor issued distributed an email dated April 17 once again recommending a change in tax policy rescinding prior planned tax reductions, incorporating fuzzy transfers, advocating a decoupling from federal tax policy. Further, there was rejoicing by both parties the high possibility Kate was getting her ahs out of Kansas ending her long history of legislative obstruction. Thursday, Kate ensures abortions continue with her “swan song” veto. Consider sending her a glad you are leaving KS gift.

SIDENOTE: From a state perspective, it is important to understand the biggest mistake after Barry’s election occurred while Obama attended the National Governor’s conference. Most of the state GOVS were whining about having to cut back on their respective budgets/facing reductions in state employment. Barry caved and shifted huge chunks of federal budget outlays originally planned for domestic infrastructure. This wasted mistake is merely going to backfire and merely give about a one-year delay to reductions in state budgets, programs and employee cutbacks.

However, it is important to note after Barry rescuing every state government, he stated shortly afterwards GOVS better use this bailout of state governments wisely because there will be no more federal state government bailouts later. So expect a lot of rotten stuff happening at the state government level. Barry’s cave-in to save state GOV(S) (bureaucracy) instead of spending on infrastructure will go down in history as a huge political/economic blunder making the rest of his economic agenda doomed to the fiscal crapper.

Now the various state GOVS understand their budget problems are only delayed. This includes Kansas. So, expect going forward not only federal tax increases, but state, county and local tax increases as all these governments strive by irrational methods every effort to fight from limiting the size of their respective governments budgets, agencies/staff levels via various and assorted tax schemes. In simple terms, you the tax payer are screwed some more for quite a while going forward by all these different governments.

Local Crap: I overcame the nightmares and horrors related to doing my dirty laundry and washing the dishes; while becoming convinced I need to join a support group so I can relate better to my rotten and ungrateful vacuum cleaner. M congressional campaign remains focused on earmark reforms and possible progressive tax policy positions favoring the middle class. I am also enduring JOCO Tax Appraiser fascists that are still not timely processing my appeal of their ridiculous property tax assessment, again; but still wanting my tax protest check May 15. Lots of work related to continuing my snarky PorkBall series at my separate blog, New Style Kansas Politics @ http://independentkspolitics.blogspot.com/. Basically, SOS.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Back by Popular Demand-Round 2 : Odds on What Cabinet Post Gets Canned First

Now that the Cabinet Post draft is over, vetting fun is no longer on C-Span Comedy Channel and all Cabinet Posts have all been finally appointed; in spite of the difficulty of trying to find an honest democrat that is not a cheater, it's fun time for Round Two of:

What are the odds of which cabinet post gets fired first (or leaves for any fabricated phoney-baloney reason)?

So back by popular demand, I'll be editing the odds when I feel like it. Because frankly due to a total denial of the media of the start of the Happy Depression yesterday but not ignored by the blogwits-the new way to get unbiased news quickly. I am feeling pretty blogged out at the moment-a blogdumb. So stand by for edits and new odds being posted. Probably after I finish burning my dinner, a Pelosi Swine Flu Panic Special. (HR1).

But remember, everyone avoid transporting yourself as suggested by Joe "the gaffer" Biden today. Avoid any enclosure including every method of transportation: bicycle, rail, skateboard, subway, pogo stick, car, air, roller skates, submarine, Harley hogs, or any other other method of dangerous and highly hazardous means of high probability infectious transportation. Just call in tomorrow and tell your boss you are just doing what was suggested by Joe today and therefore, you are merely being a good American patriot. Soo-eee, everyone merely panic and stay home tomorrow. Just not my home, you infected deadly swiners.

For special people from Ark., no driving pet hogs to work. Leave Porky at home. For TX, no driving longhorn steers. And please TX, do secede. You are like a whole other country-Red China. In regard to open borders, we must keep Mexican border open so work in CA, NM, TX and AZ can actually get some work done. We cannot afford to let Home Depot collapse. Canadians, do just stay home. We all know you are domestic terrorists. Just like Janet, I hate veterans" stated last week.

Probably same really horrible prize as before. Correctly guess the correct first firing on the right date by posted comment and you get to replace that Cabinet Secretary. So, hurry up and amend your past 3 years of cheating on your tax return before we vet you next. New favorite pop culture slogan: "Don't vet me, bro." I would give a cash prize to the winner instead of punishing them with a Cabinet Post, but it would be my luck that would be illegal in KS.

In order of succession to the Presidency:

Vice President of the United States Joe "the gaffer"Biden: .

700 gaffes to 1. We still love Joe despite his craziness.

Department of State, Secretary Hillary "Traveling PantSuit" Clinton, http://www.state.gov/ . Even money to 1 ugly cackling pantsuit.

We all know this sister of the traveling pant suit is highly ranked and one of the consistent odds- on favorites of being the first one to take her traveling pant suit anywhere else.

Department of the Treasury Secretary, "Fire Treasury Tim" Geithner, http://www.treasury.gov/. Another high probability favorite.

2 zillion worthless shares of economically unviable Gov. Motors to 15.8 billion secured government bailout bucks.

Department of Defense, Secretary Robert M. Gates, http://www.defenselink.mil/

Zero F-22's to 4000 F-35 Ford flying fighter trucks, with chrome pig guards to ward off dangerous flying swine for a measy extra 100 million each.

Department of Justice Attorney General Eric "you are all cowards" H. Holder, Jr, .http://www.usdoj.gov/

I am looking to see his odds improving right after he refuses to do anything about Bush torturers because Barry merely wants our national character to look forward, ignoring both the the past and present realities.

20 water boards to 6 racist cracker cowards.

Department of the Interior, Secretary Kenneth L. Salazar, http://www.doi.gov/.

60 National Parks to 1. Pretty hard gig to get fired from managing national parks as long as you ignore CA.

Department of Agriculture, Secretary Thomas J. Vilsack, http://www.usda.gov/.

Currently, has anyone noticed anything done by Vilsack. Right now, swine flu is probably going to be his fault. So, until the panic passes. 3 swiners to 4 porkers

Department of Commerce, Secretary Gary F. Locke, http://www.commerce.gov/.

4 to 1. Always a good person to blame for unlocky rotten economy and new Happy Depression.

Department of Labor Secretary, Hilda L. Solis, http://www.dol.gov/

150,000 imaginary jobs created to 500 million real job losses/month based on Crazy Nancy Pelosi January job estimates. Crazy Nancy can't understand why her estimates are not jibbing with the reported 630,000 real job losses reported by DOL folks.

Department of Health and Human Services, Secretary Kathleen "I can't go to communion so I am not telling you my Catholic middle name" Sebelius, http://www.hhs.gov/

My personal favorite. Probably take a while for Kate to remember her errors.

6 Wizards of OZ ex-communications to 3 Toto dog fetuses and 4 red ruby slippers abortions by Killer the Tiller.

Department of Housing and Urban Development, Secretary Shaun L.S. Donovan, http://www.hud.gov/

Department of Transportation Secretary, Raymond L. LaHood, http://www.dot.gov/

330,000 Slightly Used Egyptian hogs to 1 Joe Biden infected swine flu 67 Corvette.

Department of Energy, Secretary Steven Chu, http://www.energy.gov/

No way. Still about 4 hundred million googols to one. No one still have figured out what the heck is he is talking about. Most feared Cabinet post.

Department of Education, Secretary Arne Duncan, http://www.ed.gov/.

600,000 private school vouchers equal to about the same odds as Congress fully funding NCLB so all those whiny school teachers will be forced to focus on educating children.

Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary, Eric K. Shinseki, http://www.va.gov/

50,000,000 angry domestic Vet terrorists to one soon to be fired Janet.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary, Janet "please fire me" Napolitano, http://www.dhs.gov/

Even money. 50 million ticked off vets and all vet organization on DHS terrorist list to the entire population of Canada; not to mention even more dangerous domestic Canadian terrorists.

The following positions have the status of Cabinet-rank:

Council of Economic Advisers -as a group. 3 to 1. Roughly 3.7 trillion budget to 1.2 trillion deficit.

Chair Christina Romer, http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/eop/cea/
Environmental Protection Agency

Administrator Lisa P. Jackson
http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/cabinet/

Office of Management & Budget Director, Peter R. Orszag
http://www.whitehouse.gov/omb

2 to 1. Anyone that states Barry's numbers are fuzzy and will not work risks quite a bit. Hopefully, taxpayers will prevent this from happening to an honest patriot.

United States Trade Representative Ambassador Ronald Kirk
http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/cabinet/#TB_inline?height=220&width=370&inlineId=tb_external

United States Ambassador to the United Nations, Ambassador Susan Rice

6 European wussy countries that will not support NATO troops in Afghanistan to 1.

White House Chief of Staff, Rahm I. Emanuel

6 lying scumdog weasel corrupt lawyers from IL to 1 Rod Blogonovich.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Have A Happy Depression Day Today

HAPPY DEPRESSION DAY TODAY

Happy Depression Day is Wednesday, April 29. Hope everyone celebrates with generous amounts of Depression Soup as I previously wrote about. Remember, don’t panic yet. This is not the Great Depression. The US Dept. of Commerce officially reported really bad revised GDP numbers this morning. Officially, this is the 3rd consecutive decline in GDP making the recession move to an official depression. Which means next quarter's decline in GDP should look great in retro.

Plus in other good news, Congress approves 3.4 trillion federal budget projecting a historic deficit of 1.2 trillion. Naturally, all this crap is provided you trust anyone, that intentionally calls themselves an economist. Like Treasury Tim and his scam this week related to converting our secured $15. 8 billion GM bailout loan and converting it insanely to around 99% unsecured equity in economically unviable Government Motors. This usurpation will cause an almost immediate lose of 10 billion dollars of our tax money. Which more than likely, will be worth $0 billion when GM goes bankrupt later. Fire Treasury Tim, another freaking economist we cannot afford.

Maybe Barry will talk about it on TV tonight. But don't hold your breathe on that happening. Typically, it will be "rah-rah I saved the world" kind of 100-day megalomania kind of speech tonight with my 1.75 trillion projected historic federal budget, 4 times last year's federal budget. And we all thought Bush was a rotten irresponsible politician.

News yesterday reported Barry's second part, the tax portion is shooting the moon for 1.5 trillion in taxes. Good luck with that happening. Even with a dem nut socialist controlled Congress for the last 4 years. I'd do some of that figurin' on how much 1.5 trillion divided by 300 million Americans computes to, but my cheap calculator does not work when I try to input trillion or more amounts. And even I have a hard enough time figuring how many zeros it takes to be certain that big a number is a trillion. Lots of zeros. Too many zeros.

It’s merely the Happy Depression until mass bank failures start depleting the recent 500 billion FDIC funds Congress recently added to avoid a massive run on the banks and to replenish more anticipated bank losses. What is the count ytd-24. Hopefully, everyone will listen to Bobby McFarin sing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” around 6000 times/hour on Happy Depression Day instead of King of Darkness, Ozzy Osborne. Continue taking appropriate Rx/preferred coping substances as many times daily as you want, as needed indefinitely.

I did try to determine based on GDP, when was the last depression based on US Dept. of Commerce. This may be my first official depression. Because I could not find any data that indicated we have in fact, had an economic depression since the Great Depression. So, I guess we should all by partying tomorrow as we face an event most of us have never experienced.

I highly suggest one ask for Depression Sex. I mean this is a lot bigger event than the often requested Birthday or Happy New Year Sex. Give it a shot. This is a historic event that only happens every few decades. Try the emotional crying stuff as a last resort. I mean you should be able to fake being depressed on depression day. So do some groveling. Maybe you will get lucky with such a lame reason using typical man-thought. The downside risk is about zero. Let's face it. Rhetorically, what is the worst outcome? More rejection. Like we are not used to that by now. We men are masters of rejection. Which explains one of many reasons why we like golf and fishing so much.
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I was saving this for my renewed week's guest post at JOCOSOB web site piece on Saturday titled: Weekly Dem Nut Analysis. But, the crime fighting Dr. wants me to condense covering the weekly geopolitical stuff from international to local level to less than the prior 1200 word essay last week. Naturally, you do whatever it takes to make blog mods happy. Unless it is a dem blog mod like Kansas Jackass Jason Croucher. So, this is part of that effort as I edit the draft version for posting on Saturday to the bare bones.

I can't believe Kansas Jackass commenters get mad over my substantial efforts as the part-time weekend open forum moderator. How ungrateful, until I remind myself, they really are jackasses. As well as progressive, way too liberal dem nuts socialists getting closer every day to becoming full blown commies. (Demiwants). In the political spectrum that makes America great, Kansas Jackasses are far past the rainbow, getting real close to the Twilight Zone neighborhood. So fiscal conservatives, try to help explain stuff to KS Jackasses. They need all the help they can get with their youthful, but misguided impractical dem nut idealism.

Tell them I sent you. They will really enjoy that. They also prefer to be addressed as Dem Socialists. These jackasses keep refusing to admit how much they love me as their token republican troll and part-time open forum weekend mod. So come on over to Jackass, my other part-time blog, regardless of what those jackasses think. However, if you are a fiscal conservative, these Jackasses will cause you a lot of grief. Which is one of the great joys of life-irritating a bunch of jackasses.

Just got via an e-mail from my buddy forced to be in the horrible state of TX a while. There is a new violation of your privacy to be found at this new link to the National Driver's License Database. Just by clicking that http thing below this line, you can obtain a photo of all Demiwants. Or even your own. Go here: http://www.license.shorturl.com/. Even better than last week's DHS Terrorist link. Stand by to laugh a lot.

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